Sweet Cucumber

I love infographics. I have great admiration for the designers and illustrators who create them, and often I wished I could be one of them. There is of course a certain relation to what I do - designing the user interface for a web site or database is sometimes quite similar in scope - but the sad fact remains that I’ve never had the chance to design real infographics. I think it’s fun and a challenge doing so, and it is certainly one of the more underestimated specialities of graphic design.

Anyways, I’m head over heels into Ikea’s infographics nowadays. I’m gonna move house very soon, so I will need some furniture and stuff. Personally I think Ikea is seriously underrated by many. Sure, it used to be cheap but crappy, back in the early days, but now they have evolved into one of the best and most original home suppliers, with adequate quality. And even cheaper than before… I checked out quite a few other chains and suppliers, but to be honest, none of them can challenge Ikea for ideas, price, availability and choice. Unless of course you’re willing to spend €5000 for an Italian-designed couch.

It’s real fun to go through Ikea’s catalogue (although a visit to one of their stores can be quite harrowing, mainly because I don’t seem to be the only person liking Ikea), and fit the pieces of the puzzle together. The choice can be a bit overwhelming sometimes.

One of my biggest problems - it’s a personal thing - is the choice of curtains and rails and stuff. I simply cannot wrap my head around that; maybe ’cause I’m a guy. So I was checking out Ikea’s Kvartal triple-curtain-rail system (really neat!), but couldn’t figure out if it would fit my place. I finally found the answers at IkeaFans.com, which allowed me to download the pdf instructions — so now I understand how the Kvartal system works.

Like this:

Left: If you try to bend the package, you will be deleted.
Right: You will need a wife to help you holding the pack. You need to be naked.

Left: You cannot put your schlong member into the pack, while folding your hands to your back. If you do, the pack will be damaged, and you and your pack will be deleted.
Right: However, you can but your wiener member into the pack if you kneel down on a carpet (oriented to Mekka) and hold one arm to your back, whilst gently caressing the pack. I do understand that.

Left: If you happen to receive a rectangle leaning against a square - instead of a flat pack, and your hands become glued to the instruction manual, you need not worry, since…
Right: …you can call the Ikea House With The Three Flags and inquire as to why you have a rectangle leaning against a square in your house. That is, if you have a phone line directly connected to Ikea.

You see ? I digg.