Some Days.
Some days are like, you know, like Mondays.
Yesterday, a Monday no less, we went shopping for furniture and stuff (read: practically a whole household) in Ikea, Antwerp.
We had a long list of “want, maybe want, maybe-but-let’s-see-first, probably not” things, and we dived in well prepared (or so we thought), studying the printed and on-line catalogues for at least a week. Give me an Ikea name, and I tell you on which page it is (Kramfors: p38, 39).
To cut a 7-hour story short: we started at 12 noon, and ended shopping at 7pm. I shrunk at least 2 cm just by walking back and forth between all the aisles.
The fun part is the selection. Shall we go for the Kramfors 2+2, or 1+2/2, and have it in dark grey, or mustard yellow ? Do we take the glossy white elliptical table, or the classy darkwood one ? That’s all fun and all that, but it gets grittier when you actually have to make a choice based on the size of your rooms and walls, and what’s available… Darn, we’d really love that cabinet, but it’s 4cm too wide, so we have to take the other cabinet, but its shelves are not deep enough. Ok, let’s take this one instead. Oh wait, that doesn’ come in black ! All right, let’s go for the glossy white table then, but now we need to select chairs to go with it. Right, we like those nine ones - let’s try them all out (fun!). Hmmm, these aren’t comfortable, so no. This one is comfy, but it doesn’t go with the table. These ones really go well with the table, but I don’t like that bump in my back. So in the end you have to go for the ones that sit well, and fit the table. Of course, they’re the most expensive ones. They always are.
Ikea really fucked up with the Malm series (bedroom stuff). The Malm bedframe comes in several widths, including our 180cm. It’s available in several colours, including our favourite black. There’s an option to have a kind of bed-end annex sliding-nighttable behind the frame for the bed. It’s real nice and practical, and we want it. Only problem is, they don’t make it in 180cm size… Why oh why ? That’s just stupid. Sigh.
And so on and so forth.
The real problem comes when you actually have to place your order. Especially for complicated things like drawers and bedroom cabinets it quickly becomes quiet overwhelming. It gets even more fun when you want all of the stuff delivered at home. Okay, so this is in stock, but this part of the cabinet isn’t. It’ll take 30 days to deliver. Do you want everything delivered at once - waiting for the last parts to arrive, or in different transports ? If yes (yes!), then you have to take these items (x, y, z) out of out stockroom yourselves, go to the transportation departement, deliver them there, and wait for it to be delivered at your home. But items a, b, c and d you can take home with you right now. But not this particular item e, ’cause that needs to come from a different country. Also, your cabinet will be delivered in two seperate transports (read: so you can’t actually assemble it when they deliver part 1). Oh, and the lead time for your dark-grey Kramfors is 150 days (!) - you want to wait for that ? No, we’ll take the light-grey instead… And so on ad nauseam.
So we’re hauling three fully-loaded buggies through Ikea’s corridors (not easy with two people), off to the check-out cash points. We pay in two parts - mine and her. But most stuff needs to be payed cash in advance, and my woman doesn’t have enough money on her checkings account (shit happens). So I jump in. After two of those payments, my debet card’s limit is overdrawn as well. So I need the Visa card. But forgot the PIN number… Hahaha.
Then we’re told to take all of that heavy stuff to Customer Service (outside). I’m waiting there for half an hour - it’s past 7pm now, and Ikea is closing - only to be told that we were send to the wrong departement. We need to go to Transportation Departement, outside next door… Then I’m called by Y - I’m using her Volvo (thx!) - telling me that she can’t enter her house since I have left her key in her kitchen… Oh my. So I send my girl to the Transportation Dept., while I start loading the Volvo with tons of little things. She has to wait there for another half hour, while the stocking room clerks go through our (rather lengthy) bill, item by item: this needs to be delivered on Thurday, this item comes in February, this one you take with you, etcetera…
So, after spending a large chunk of a day at Ikea, we’re totally out of air, relieved it’s all done for now and we can go to Y’s house and give her the key.
Or, maybe not.
The Volvo has a flat tyre.
Call Y - what to do ?
A brings Y to Ikea.
Y calls Volvo Service.
We wait for another half hour until they show up. They replace the tyre with a little “home-coming” one. We drive to our new apartment, and unload the car. Then we go home. We buy some instant-deepfrozen-food at the local Esso station (uck!). Then we continue our work until deep in the night…
Some days.